Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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