I think i peed on brittanys purse
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
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