I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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