I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
