im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We left an ass print on the piano.
You took a bar mat shot.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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