that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
