The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
