hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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