I think scott just propositioned me for sex
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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