Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize