dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Randomize
