that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
