Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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