i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
