So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
