I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
