508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
