in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
