...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
