oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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