I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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