Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
