bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
