My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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