hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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