The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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