I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
