I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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