is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
