Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
