So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
