I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
His hands were made for my vagina.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
