i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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