I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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