i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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