I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i think i have two assholes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize