that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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