remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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