Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize