I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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