I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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