If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
