someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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