i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
