What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
