Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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