just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
