dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
