Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
