Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
