Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
