So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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