Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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