im so drunk with asians
where?
always
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
