I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The beer is more important than you right now.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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