Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
His nipple licking is glorious
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