her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
