He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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