look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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