ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
