Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
